does anyone know why mens hearing fails when the footie season starts

what are you talking about? lol.

and this has what to do with cars

It is the whistle - drowns out all other noise for 90 mins. Same happens with Rugby.

Its called selective hearing.it also affects them when there is a job to be done.

The brain only has so much working capacity. There is simply not enough brain power left over to listen.

its called selective hearing like kids the only hear you when it suits them

l do not know what you're talking about. My hubbies hearing fails all year long!

convenience?

Suzanne, did not you know, they can only do one thing at a time!! If they're watching, then they can not listen at the same time.

Sorry? Did someone say something?

Same reason the led in their pants gets too overwhelming to haul their selves off the couch and the TV control becomes a permanent part of their anatomy

Mine is not good all year round but the footie season makes no difference (and l AM a man!)

What, did you say something?

Men can focus on one thing at a time so when football is on thats where we are. Women are much better at juggling many different items at the same time. Listen when a bunch of women are talking, it drives me crazy, you can talk 3 or 4 different subjects at the same time without skipping a beat.

Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend, Significant Other,

1.
during the football season u should read the sports section of the newspaper so that u r aware of what is going on regarding the football, & that way u will be able to join in the conversations. If u fail to do this, then u will be looked at in a bad way, or u will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the football, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If u even catch a glimpse of the remote control, u will lose it (your eye).

3. If u have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, l don’t mind, as long as u do it crawling on the floor & without distracting me. If u decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure u put clothes on right after because if u catch a cold, l won’t have time to take u to the doctor or look after u during the football season


4. During the games l will be blind, deaf & mute, unless l require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You r out of ur mind if u expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor…. It won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for u to keep at least two six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, & please do not make any funny faces at my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, u will be allowed to use the TV between 1am & 6am, unless they replay a good game that l missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please! If u see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “Get over it, it’s only a game”, or “Don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If u say these things, u will only make me angrier & l will love u less. Remember,you will never ever know more about football than me & ur so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break-up.

7. You r welcome to sit with me to watch one game & u can talk to me during half-time but only when the commercials r on, & only if the half-time score pleases me. In addition, please note l am saying “one” game; hence do not use the football season as an excuse to “spend time together”.

8. The replays of the goals r very important. l don’t care if l have seen them or l haven’t seen them, l want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell ur friends NOT to have any baby-, or any other child-related parties or gatherings that require my attendance because:

a) l will not go,

b) l will not go, &

c) l will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. the highlights shown on TV at night r just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but u have already seen this … why don’t u change the channel to something we can all watch?” because, the reply will be “Refer to Rule #2 of this list.”

12. And, finally, please save expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every four years”. l am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League Premier League, FA Cup, etc.

Thank u for ur cooperation.

Regards,

Men of The World

what the bloody hell has this got to do with cars?